Fee-fi-fo-fum!

(A take off from the childrens fairy tale “Jack and the bean stalk” )

Jack is a young lad living with his widowed mother and a milk cow who is their only source of income. `

Jack tried very hard to fulfill his father’s last wish – finish University. It took him a little longer than most, but he had interests that he spent a lot of time on. During the day he loved to lie on his back and stare at the clouds. They were his friends and he created stories based on the shapes and sizes. Everyone thought him a bit queer, he was a loner, but he could be pleasant and friendly when he wanted. Jack’s mother was bedridden with rheumatoid arthritis and worried about him. They lived in the country and his father had left behind a small dairy farm.

When the cow stops giving milk, Jack’s mother has him take her to market for sale. On the way, he meets an old man who offers “magic beans” in exchange for the cow, and Jack makes the trade. When he arrives home without any money, his mother becomes furious, throws the beans to the ground, and sends Jack to bed without supper.

One day Jack informed his Mother that he had come across a bunch of investors who wanted him to form a company. His contribution was the livestock and cows and he had been given equity and the assurance that he would soon make a steady income without any hard work. The head office was in Thailand and they had invited him there and had given him some travel coupons. His mother was furious with him and threw a tantrum. He couldn’t understand why she was so upset and decided to give her time to cool down. He plans a visit to his partners in Thailand. Things are beginning to look up already!

A gigantic beanstalk grows overnight, which Jack climbs to a land high in the sky. There he comes to a castle, that is the home of a giant. He asks at door for food and the giant’s wife takes him in.

Jack goes to Thailand and realizes that the addresses he had been given didn’t exist. He is upset and spends his first night in a nightclub. He meets Lucy, a beautiful Thai woman, she is older than him and she buys him many drinks. Her big black eyes, masked in thick mascara and turquoise blue eye shadow and her waist long straight hair enchant him. She takes him to her huge palatial mansion and seduces him. Jack is ecstatic – things are definitely looking up! She tells him that she has a very Rich Russian benefactor who provides her with all her needs and asks only that she is available to him when he visits Thailand once a month.

Jack spends time with Lucy, they go to the beach and he lies down on the sand staring up into the blue sky, and recognizes his old friends the wispy white clouds. He squints his eyes from the hot sun and imagines a big juicy succulent plant that will transport him straight up to the sky! He remembers that as a kid, his dad had called him Jack from the beanstalk story that he had read to him hundreds of times. Jack laughs. “Yes I am Jack. I am the guy who has a beanstalk! I am the guy who has found the hen that lays the golden egg!“

When it is time for Jack to return home Lucy gives him money and packs his new clothes and gives him a packet of white powder. She instructs him to carry it back and tells him that it would be picked up on his arrival from his house. Jack’s mother is happy to see him and is overjoyed when he gives her money. She asks no question. She thinks, “ Thank God, things are looking up!” Jack looks after her but ever so often he returns to Thailand. The mother wonders who the people are who visit Jack with their strange accents and wear fur caps in summer. Jack goes again to Thailand and this time his girlfriend doesn’t pick up the phone.

When the giant returns, he senses that a human is nearby:
Fee-fi-fo-fum!
I smell the blood of an Englishman,
Be he alive, or be he dead,
I’ll have his bones to grind my bread……

The guards do not allow him into Lucy’s house. He stands outside and hears some strange noises. It sounds like someone is growling “ Fee-fi-fo-fum! Fee-fi-fo-fum! Fee-fi-fo-fum! “ Over and over again. Jack shrugs his shoulders. It must be the Russian.

A day later Lucy calls and tells him that she can’t meet him on this trip because her Russian giant is there. She sends him money and another packet of white substance to take home. He goes home but he is disturbed and listless looks up at the ceiling all day long. His Mother doesn’t know what to do with him. She nags him, she has opened a letter from the equity partners and has come to know that the ‘bogus’ company has gone bankrupt. Jack decides to marry Lucy and thinks that things will only look up after that !

Jack once again boards the flight to Thailand; Lucy waits for him eagerly and tells him that she must escape with him. She tells him that her Russian boyfriend is a drug dealer. She says she wants to run away with Jack to his home, marry him and start a new life. They catch a flight to return to Jacks home. Jack doesn’t know that the narcotic police force have been tipped and will arrest him at the airport on arrival. Jack doesn’t know that the Russian boyfriend will be at the airport to receive Lucy and hand him over to the police. He doesn’t know that he was just a pawn in this intricate plan between gorgeous Lucy and the Russian drug dealer. But right now Jack is happy, he looks through the window as Thailand is left far behind and says to Lucy “Life could never be better – things are definitely looking Up!”

This entry was posted in Poems, Random Thoughts. Bookmark the permalink.